After The Chase.

Boy and Girl meet at a ball (or in today's scenario a club/ coffee shop/ office/ college), boy is mesmerized with Girl. Boy asks Girl to dance. Boy is even more under-the-spell after dancing with Girl. Girl blushes, but, alas, it's 12am, she's gotta go. She secretly wants to stay, because after all, Boy has flattered a thousand butterflies into her tummy. But her fairy godmother told her boys can be treacherous liars, so please to be back by 12am (even fairy godmothers probably had their hearts broken/ flattered into bed, only to find out it's a one night stand). 

So Girl comes back almost in the nick of time, but she cleverly leaves a clue for Boy. Boy goes all around town, state, hell, country, galaxy, starships... climbs grand mountains, picks the lone orange-purple flower off a edge of a cliff, travels to a star, eats rotten cheese, meets Yoda, and asks him what the hell this clue means. After answering 16 of Yoda's wittiest riddles and jumping through varied sizes of rings of fire, Yoda gives him the answer he seeks to go get his woman. 

Boy returns and tells Girl of his grand feats. Girl is thrilled, flattered and convinced that this boy really, truly loves her. He's her The One. Girl's mummy, daddy, chaachi, granduncle and his nephew give their consent and the couple are married, walking away into the sunset... happily ever after.

But what happens after the sun rises again? The chase is over, the girl is won, and home and hearth have been set up. A year or three down the line, peek into that house to hear thunderous fights between Girl and Boy. The story is one you've heard before- Boy is spending too much time on the x-box and at the local bar. Girl is missing all the over the top adoration that was thrown her away in the initial part of the romance and is crying, no, screaming her lungs out about feeling lonely. Boy looks confused and confounded, as if to say, I did go to that star and climbs those mountains for you, yo know- can't I just play God of War with my boys now?

...And on and on they fight every night, until one day, girl packs her bags and walks out on Boy. OR Girl meets other Girls whom this has happened to and has kitty parties with them, where the primary topic of discussion is the fact that all men suck and the most oft repeated sentence is, 'Yes, they're all the same- it's always about the chase".

Recently, I've heard a couple of my girlfriends (some married, some in long term relationships) complaining about this phenomena- The Lull After The Chase. At first, this had me depressed. But then my analytical mind took over- or tried to. Why does this happen? Are women unnecessarily needy? Or do men over promise and under deliver? To begin with- is this whole Chase thing even real? Or is the whole concept of the Chase a figment of everyone's imagination?

Most men I spoke to laughed at me (trying to be obtuse?), and the few brave ones who decided to speak up told me that the Chase was not a myth. It was as real as anything else. And yes, they consider the first few months/ years (duration is apparently dependant on several factors) highly exciting, because they're so caught up in trying to impress the girl and convince her that he's indeed worth it. One even said, 'So, yeah, once the chase is over and I have the girl, why would I want to do anything more? I can't keep bringing her the moon, can I? Besides, I don't know why she doesn't understand that was then and this is now."

So my grand conclusion is... well, I have none. As one of my roomies used to say,  "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them."