Friday, December 24, 2010

That Big Step

I've suddenly found myself at that age where everywhere I look, someone is smiling at me, giving me a beautifully embossed card and saying, 'it'll be great if you can make it'. Yes, apparently almost everyone (of eligible age) that I know is getting married. Or aspiring to get hitched in the next few months. 

And 2010 is apparently The Year to take That Big Step. 

No seriously, I'm hounding my mother for saris and jewellery for weddings that are SO back to back that it's impossible to repeat clothes and not get noticed for it (and the facebook shared photos don't help!).

This is what I've been upto in the last three weeks.

-Getting salwaars and blouses stitched (gratefully my mother has an adequate inventory of beautiful saris) 
-Getting the blouses re-stitched because apparently my tailor sucks at his job
-Organising or being part of a great big bunch of loud girls at a bachelorette party (where I must mention, there were vuglar props and games, and we almost got kicked out of a club and got threatened to get arrested!)
-Doing a dance for mash-ups of Sheela Ki Jawaani and other Bolly songs that are driving people insane right now
-Drinking drinking drinking DRINKING. And then some more.
-Crying a little bit every time during each of the ceremonies (true story; why I'm so emo don't ask)

On that last note, I must tell you that this was a discovery for me about me- getting over-sentimental and crying happy tears at every wedding. This, from a girl, who till just a few years ago, staunchly believed that marriage is shit and that no ONE in their right minds should do it. I even had a very good, long, scripted debate prepared for every time someone asked me my opinion on the matter.

I still remember, just a couple of years ago, when I was living in the Other City, my mother called and mentioned it to me for the first time. 

'Baby, we should start collectiong saris for your wedding no?'

I had just entered my 20s and I was caught dumbfounded for a minute or ten.

'Are you mad ma?'

'No my darling. If we start collecting saris and jewellery and start saving up now, we can have a half decent wedding for you'

'Ma, you do know there has to be a member of the opposite sex who is willing to do this, right? I'm not seeing anyone right now.'

This is when she decided it was right moment to tell me about 'a very lovely boy' who someone had recommended.

Let me back track for a minute and tell you about my relationship with my parents. Very early in my teen years, I learned the trick to handling them/ training them.

Step 1: TELL them when you're doing something, don't ASK. Eg. I'm going for a drink with friends 
Step 2: Don't fuck up. Eg: Don't end up getting caught and spend the night in jail for drinking and driving
Step 3: Now that their trust and confidence in you has built up reasonably, repeat Step 1 and 2, but this time take it one level higher. Eg: Tell them you're moving in with your boyfriend. 

This way you have trained your parents to know that you are the master of your life and you are capable of living a decent life without their intervention. Slowly but surely, they will learn to let you go and let you fly.

Anyway, so as you can see, I have a great thing with my parents- I tell them what I want to do with my life, I do it right and they believe I'm not a fuck-up. When they disagree with me, they offer me advice, but if I convince them with logical reasons, they're okay with it (and it works both ways mind you- I let them convince me out of something if I'm sure it's not the right thing for me).

So you can understand my surprise when I heard my mother suggesting an arranged marriage meeting. I was wondering if I'd not been following the Train your Parents to Love Your Decisions rule book. Because you see, my folks know how I despise the thought of marriage, let alone a holy union arranged by the elders of the family. 

Despite my obvious bewilderment, she proceeded to tell me all about him. And believe it or not, the only thing I found interesting was the boy in question's MOTHER. Apparently she had been India's ambassador to several countries. My chaalu brain quickly started devising a quick strategy for befriending the wow mother (she sounded impressive, maybe she can help me with a cool job that allows me to travel too?), without ever meeting or talking to the son.

No brilliant plan came to mind, so I promptly asked my lovely mother to keep the lovely boy away from me. It was too early in my life to start having this argument. I didn't intend to ever get married. That's all.

....And then a few years later, I met Him (I refer to him on this blog as LOL- Love Of my Life).

And a month after I met him, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I had never thought about when I die or how I aged until I met LOL. All of a sudden I found myself hoping I lived a long life because if this is how gorgeous life got when he was in it, I never wanted it to end.

Slowly I started thinking about what it might be like to publicly declare this aforementioned feeling. Because you see, I wanted to shout it from the mountains. I was in mad, mad in love. And it dawned on me that that was what a wedding was for.

And that's how my dear friends, I have come to become this girl that gets sentimental and cries at my friends' weddings. Apparently I've now warmed up to the concept. Hell, I even look forward to my own shaadi- the dress, the rings, the band-baaja, et al. :)

PS: Will you please please pray that I'll be allowed to have a beach wedding?