Another Me, Another You.

Will you ever find another me if I ever leave you?

Will I ever find another you?

They say there are several Mes in the

Seven billion of us,

With our world full of differences.

Different Yous, and different Mes.

Maybe there are two of us each,

Or maybe four?

Will I bump into you in Hungary,

In Budapest,

On Sale Day, looking for a carved wooden table,

That we both put our hands on at the same time?

Maybe I’ll bump into you in New York,

In a jazz bar because we both like

Georgia,

The song, not the place.

Or perhaps I’ll see you on the Internet.

On a dating website,

While I’m still with you,

While you’re still sleeping in our bed,

Your hands on the book I’m reading,

Your book lying next to me while I look for another you,

In a parallel universe.

Will we be happier with each other’s

Other Me and You?

Will you be happier if you had me without me.

The Problem Is

The problem is, always was, that I loved you too much.

They told me. Everyone told me. To not do that. To never love you like that. But see, I didn’t see it. All I could see was you. You were a high. Something I could sniff when my day went south. Something I could inject to make my day go north. Something I could wake up to, with a feeling of elation. The feeling that I had done something right.

And the problem is, always was, that you played the part. To the T. You danced and pranced for me. You made me laugh. You made me cry, just enough to consider you an achievement. You made me feel like I was the only thing you lived for. You made me feel like a million bucks was tepid in front of me.

They told us. Everyone told us. To not to that. We may never stop loving each other, but what if we lost each other? What if something happened to either one of us? How would either of us get through it.

Well, you showed me how, didn’t you. You disappeared. You left me with a faith that I couldn't practice anymore.

The problem is, always was, that which they didn’t tell me. They told me not to love you like that, but what they should have been telling me is this – love yourself more. So that at least this way, when you’re gone I will still have had something left to love.

  

When we find each other.

We throw these curve balls at each other
At incredible speed
Daring each other to catch
Or miss on purpose,

Like its a challenge
An impossible dream,
Thrown into reality.

The reality of you and me
The reality of us
The reality that flows like a river into the ocean,

That stops right before it meets
Only to be thrown back in,
Far far back

Into the memories of time
When immemorial people lived
And craved and died

A hundred deaths just like us
When we cried that day
When we cried that we had found each other that day.

You and I.

o baby

aren't you tired 

of the games we play,

You and I?

don't call me now

because I don't want to do

that tom and jerry thing,

not with You and I.

we speak in riddles

we don't speak at all

why do we do this,

You and I?

then we say too much

and hide it with too little

two little freaks we are,

You and I.

some days are great

some days so crap

i want to hit someone when i think 

of You and I.

we want to be together

we want to be alone

but confused is all we have,

You and I.

we push each other away

we pull a lot faster

but can we make it work,

You and I?

we don't have a name
and we're both just the same

maybe we're worth talking about,

You and I.

Relationship Power Play

Remember that song Quit Playing Games With My Heart? Yes, the Back Street boys one- don't pretend to not know it- you know you know it. In fact, like the rest of us teens who grew up in the 90s, you probably know every lyric and every ummm baby, nanannaa... oh yeaaah! Besides how could you ever forget that cute-as-hell Nick Carter (I don't know how I thought that- now I feel like taking a scissor to his hair and asking him to grow a pair)?

Yeah, so the first time I heard that song it meant something completely different than it means now, more than a decade later. Then (I was probably 13/14), it was just a song with someone else's heartbreak and the song and it's tune, and the band of boys were cooler than the lyrics. A few years later, with a real heartbreak up my sleeve, it meant relating to it a little more (although it was still too a peppy pop song to really feel it, and a ballad-like one like the whiny Alllll By Myseeeeeeeeeelfffff was more effective with the water works more than a BB song).

Anyway, coming to the Now- that song, or at least that line means a whole different thing- it's feels like they should sing Quit Playing Games with my Mind. 

It's all about Power Play these days, isn't it? I don't know if it's just me (and my fabulous and infamous bad luck with men), or if it's the age (late 20s and you're more jaded), or if it's the place I live in (Bombay with it's really screwed up artists and actors and what not), or if it's a combination of all three. But the thing is, these days I seem to be running into people who just want to get into a relationship to make themselves feel like they're in control.

Which, by the way, is such a retarded concept. If you're not in control of yourself and your life from the start, then how the hell do you expect to be in control when you've added another whole human being to the mix? In this kind of relationship, one of two kind of mind games happen (or god forbid, both- in which case you must really have it bad)- 

a) the guy is completely into you, and he is fully and absolutely involved and invested in your life (which you love- who doesn't love the attention?), and then suddenly, BAM! the guy expects to mind control you. He will tell you what to do and what you can't/ shouldn't do and then next thing you know (slowly but surely), he thinks he owns you and your mind, and it leaves you wondering if it's he's completely lost the plot and/or if this is his way of validating his painful existence. 

b) the guy is into you- sometimes SO much and sometimes it's all meh, not so much. Aloof be-th his middle name-th, and he's cat-and-mousing you all over the place. This kind of guy will give a little, take a lot more, and then disappear for a bit. Sometimes he'll give a lot and before it even fully reached your hand, he'll snatch it right back. He'll be more inconsistent and undependable than the weather in New York. He'll have you guessing alllll the time, and this way he'll be on your mind all the time. The idea is that he has all the power. He'll be nice when wants to, and highly ambiguous when he wants to. Mind you, he'll very rarely be mean directly, so you can't point any fingers at him, but he'll make sure he's playing those games with your brain all the time, because you see like the other guy above, he too needs to do this to feel powerful, in control and good about himself. 

Why is power such an important part of a relationship? Don't get me wrong- the above two examples of men, they could just as easily be women (although I've honestly heard of rarer cases with women)- greed for power and being in control is gender neutral. But I realllly wonder- why is the world so hungry for power- whether it's politics, at work or in bed? Doesn't real power come from within yourself? Do you have to make someone else feel small in order to feel like the more powerful one? 

All I can do is roll my eyes, and stay as far away from these power plays as possible.

Stay, please.

You pull me closer,
Closer, tighter,
You snare me in.

And then you throw me
Push me, question me,
Challenge me to
Walk walk walk
Away from you.

And I'm sick of it,
But I'll come back.

Because you take me,
Make me,
Forsake me,
Oh, you make a fool outta me.

How can I hate you
And love you,
In the same breath?

Huff puff we go.
Stop start,
Stop start.
Oh god dammit,
Stay for a minute.

Just stay
Won't you?
Don't stay for me,
Or you.

Stay because
You just can't leave.

I think I remember you

Weren't you the one 

With the short hair,

The brown eyes,

And a tiny mark on your eyebrow,

That shape of moon-crop, 

The shape of a memory

That was a scar.

Weren't you that same one 

Who wondered why the sky was so blue,

That you made us stare and stare

Till our eyes turned big

Just as turquoise flashes

Left us bat blind.

Or were you that one

With the smile that was aspirin

For my aching head

A quiet shoulder,

For the calmest nap

With a kiss that was bright

Like sunshine on my forehead.

Or wait, were you the one

Who read a tale of two cities out loud,

Although you hated the book

But loved the sound of your reading voice

So much so that you wondered 

If entire nations and diplomats and big men 

In fat suits would pay money to hear you read. 

Or was that you

The one that liked to pick fights

For my vanity, my modesty

Oh so pure, oh so yours,

You'd constantly throw 
Black and purple bruises 

At every pervert, 

Even the imaginary.

Weren't you the one

That sent pink kisses

And hot light 

Up and down my body

Every time you touched me 

So smooth and dangerous

It made me shiver and wish sweet pain 

Would hurt less.

Weren't you that very same one

That loved me so much 

It hurt

To break my heart

And your own

But you had to, 

Because the leaves were colouring

The wind was changing

And we had to go go go.

You are so many people

So many memories

I don't forget

I can't dismiss

Because you made me

And filled my soul

So when I die 

I die so many deaths

They'll have to call out too many names

And wipe too many tears.

Yes I think I remember you.

I never forgot you.

I remember and I want 

I dream and I wonder

Because you linger

In just that corner of my mind

That makes me smile.

Ruin Me.

You ruin me.

Every time you touch me. Every time you smile at me. Every time you even frown at me, with those brown eyes that are capable of setting my body on fire.

And I ask myself ...why do I do this to myself? I tell myself- never again. I say to myself that there has to be an end to this. 

Then you say my name- a whisper, so simple, as if it's nothing... I watch mutely as I see your mouth making the shape of my name, and slowly, very slowly, it floats toward me, the sound touching my ear, ever so softly- before it explodes. 

And I'm ruined all over again. 

The trouble is I'm never more alive. Every time you ruin me, even my tears sparkle. The heartache makes me touch the moon.

Call me a fool, but I am willing to lose it all to feel that high. Because I can't bear to exist in the absence...in the silence. 

So, go ahead, ruin me again.

Be Strong For Me.

You've gotta go. 

You've got to leave.

Find the world.

Find you.

Find me.

Find us.

Go!

Get out!

But you better be strong for me.

Don't cry,

Don't look back.

We'll be together soon

When it rains, you'll smell me

In the moonlight you will drink me

So you better be strong for me.

Don't think too much,

Don't frown too hard.

Listen.. listen close,

You can hear me think

and I can hear you breathe.

So you better be strong for me.

Don't stay.

Don't ask me to come with you.

You don't need me 

Be brave and look ahead.

Don't cry.

Just be strong.

Not for you,

But for me.

After The Chase.

Boy and Girl meet at a ball (or in today's scenario a club/ coffee shop/ office/ college), boy is mesmerized with Girl. Boy asks Girl to dance. Boy is even more under-the-spell after dancing with Girl. Girl blushes, but, alas, it's 12am, she's gotta go. She secretly wants to stay, because after all, Boy has flattered a thousand butterflies into her tummy. But her fairy godmother told her boys can be treacherous liars, so please to be back by 12am (even fairy godmothers probably had their hearts broken/ flattered into bed, only to find out it's a one night stand). 

So Girl comes back almost in the nick of time, but she cleverly leaves a clue for Boy. Boy goes all around town, state, hell, country, galaxy, starships... climbs grand mountains, picks the lone orange-purple flower off a edge of a cliff, travels to a star, eats rotten cheese, meets Yoda, and asks him what the hell this clue means. After answering 16 of Yoda's wittiest riddles and jumping through varied sizes of rings of fire, Yoda gives him the answer he seeks to go get his woman. 

Boy returns and tells Girl of his grand feats. Girl is thrilled, flattered and convinced that this boy really, truly loves her. He's her The One. Girl's mummy, daddy, chaachi, granduncle and his nephew give their consent and the couple are married, walking away into the sunset... happily ever after.

But what happens after the sun rises again? The chase is over, the girl is won, and home and hearth have been set up. A year or three down the line, peek into that house to hear thunderous fights between Girl and Boy. The story is one you've heard before- Boy is spending too much time on the x-box and at the local bar. Girl is missing all the over the top adoration that was thrown her away in the initial part of the romance and is crying, no, screaming her lungs out about feeling lonely. Boy looks confused and confounded, as if to say, I did go to that star and climbs those mountains for you, yo know- can't I just play God of War with my boys now?

...And on and on they fight every night, until one day, girl packs her bags and walks out on Boy. OR Girl meets other Girls whom this has happened to and has kitty parties with them, where the primary topic of discussion is the fact that all men suck and the most oft repeated sentence is, 'Yes, they're all the same- it's always about the chase".

Recently, I've heard a couple of my girlfriends (some married, some in long term relationships) complaining about this phenomena- The Lull After The Chase. At first, this had me depressed. But then my analytical mind took over- or tried to. Why does this happen? Are women unnecessarily needy? Or do men over promise and under deliver? To begin with- is this whole Chase thing even real? Or is the whole concept of the Chase a figment of everyone's imagination?

Most men I spoke to laughed at me (trying to be obtuse?), and the few brave ones who decided to speak up told me that the Chase was not a myth. It was as real as anything else. And yes, they consider the first few months/ years (duration is apparently dependant on several factors) highly exciting, because they're so caught up in trying to impress the girl and convince her that he's indeed worth it. One even said, 'So, yeah, once the chase is over and I have the girl, why would I want to do anything more? I can't keep bringing her the moon, can I? Besides, I don't know why she doesn't understand that was then and this is now."

So my grand conclusion is... well, I have none. As one of my roomies used to say,  "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them."

Resilience.

Being consumed by a bitterness
That is not me.
They are the beasts of yesterday,
A semblance of the demons that were.

I struggle, I beat, I scream
I cave... and I try to breathe.
I give in, scramble, I swim.
Always up, towards a silver line.

I won't be trampled, no.
Because you,
You cannot tell me who I am.

Quotes I love

"Perhaps we are each allotted only a certain amount of love-- enough for only an initial meeting-- a serendipitous clumsiness."

Isn't that a beautiful thought? Sad too, but beautiful nonetheless.

The Tortoise People

@googlefacts defines them as Philophobes (philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment that often leads to expectations that end in disappointment). 

But I like to give them a special name- The Tortoise People. The people that put their shells on every time someone comes near them. The ones that have a mental knee-jerk reaction everytime you try to connect with them emotionally. The ones that are emotionally unreachable. 

Not to be confused with the peeps that are emotionally awkward, popularly known to have the emotional IQ of a cockroach. 

No, no. These people are different- the Tortoise folk are jaded, cynical and scared.

I would know, I used to belong to the clan. And then I realised it don't work for me, no.

And I'll tell you why, but let me ask a couple of questions to begin with- Would you not eat something absolutely lip-smackingly delicious because you're too afraid you'll love it and then never be able to eat it again? Would you live like a poor person all your life because you're afraid that if you get rich, you'll lose it all? I'm assuming the answer is mostly no, so then why would you allow yourself to not love- a person, an idea or a dream?

We're going by the assumption that the Tortoise People are afraid to emotionally invest because they're afraid of the impending disappointment, brought on by expectation. But I ask you, what is life without an expectation? A dream? A hope? 

I constantly hope I will eat good food for lunch, wear beautiful clothes, or travel to all the sorts of new places. I expect it out of my life. And what would I be if I didn't? Soulless? Someone who didn't feel at all- the bad or the good?

Upon badgering a few close friends who are hard-core cynics, here's what I heard- "It helps you be prepared, for the bad stuff that will inevitably happen." But that's defeatist, isn't it? Like someone once said, life is what happens to you when you're busy preparing for it. So don't prep, just live. With mad, reckless abandon, full-heartedly.

Our lives are closely intertwined with so many people's lives and circumstances. Bad things do happen, and whether you like it or not, you will never be able to control it all. And it'll most likely happen in a way you didn't expect it to. Because you see, life is cheeky like that. It sneaks up on you, rubs its hands and grins with glee, and makes you face your very worst fears. 

So here's my attitude towards it- I will love everything. I will love every rainbow I see, every raindrop that falls on my nose, and every person who makes me smile silly. I will brave my tears with grace, my disappointments with hope and my heartbreaks with strength. Because at the end of it all, I want to have lived. I want to have loved. I want to have felt every emotion there is to feel. 

I don't just want to drift through my life, I want to experience it. 

That Thin Line

SO, recently I've been wondering about that thin line. Yes, you'll know which one I'm talking about. We've all been there.

Here's how the story goes- Girl meets a super fun boy. Boy and girl hang out- a little bit in the beginning and A LOT, very soon after the beginning. If they're not hanging out, they're texting 24/7, emailing each other funny things they found online, exploring new places in town together, meeting each other's friends etc. Mad bonding ensues with crazed swapping of stories. And oh, the LAUGHS. Many, many laughs. 

In all of this, 

Girl is wondering if this has the potential to go somewhere (and being over-analytic as the female species is, she's putting things into a pros and cons tables, for 'perspective' you know?).

Boy has two thought bubbles- 1. Do I like her? 2. Should we bonk?

There are two possible outcomes. 

a) Girl and boy decide they enjoy each other's company a lot and that they would like to take it to the next level and get into a relationship 

b) Girl and boy decide they enjoy each other's company a lot, so they don't want to risk turning it into a relationship

Oh, and a third outcome- Girl/boy blurts out the truth about their feelings for the other and the other respectfully (with many awkward pauses) backs out and the whole situation is a muck.

So, you see there is that thin line between intersex bestfriend-ship. Because all that separates this platonic relationship from a full fledged relationship is a few whispers, a couple of confessions and kiss or two (that, or a drunken night with lots of 'mistake' sex).

Certainly is food for thought, no?

Shards of glass.

The bile rises in my throat.

What has he done?

Why does my soul feel like

A loud clock, 

Ticking ominously in my ear?

Times freezes.

What is happening?

Why does it feel like

I'm standing still,

And my world is cracking up rapidly?

My hands are numb.

What should I say?

Why does it feel like

There are stones in my mouth,

Suffocating my speech and my breath?

A scream echoes in my head.

What is he saying?

Why does it feel like

My heart has exploded,

Into a million shards of sparkling glass flying around me?

Time unfreezes.

The music has stopped,

I haven't sung my part,
My cry still stuck in my throat,
Trying to remember how to sing without him.

And I don't where to,

But I just keep walking.

New Adventures!

I've been so bad with blogging and writing lately, that you'll wonder why I'm saying what I'm saying next :P But there are some super exciting life updates.

-I'm quitting my job!

-I'm taking a 4 month break (ah, the idea of not waking up to do the same damn thing and seeing the same people everyday)

-I'm going to NYC (whooooooooooo hooooooooooooo)

-I'm...wait for it....WRITING A BOOK (yeah, the top item on my Before-I-Die list is happening right now!)

Now you must wonder how the hell I'm going to write a whole book when I can't keep up with even the blogging. Although there is no excuse, let me just give you a few facts about what's going on (more updates!):

1. LOL (Love Of Life) is taking a sabbatical with me! And so we've been busy making plans for the next four months. This is the first time we've made a 'Couple Decision'... I know we live together and some people treat us like we're already married, but we still have 'Firsts' as a couple (how awesome is that after three years of being together!). What I mean is... Although we've made some fairly big decisions together before (moving in together, what kind of furniture to buy etc), they haven't been this big and this detrimental to either of our futures, in terms of the impact it would have. We actually sat down and calculated our finances together (this is HUGE for me- I haven't ever talked money with any other person like this) and budgeted for the plans we have for the next four months and in his case, almost a year and a half...which brings me to the most exciting part... Our Plans.

LOL is planning to do an MBA (yeah, so cliche, I know; but I'm compelled to love him anyway!). So his plan is to take time off and study for the GMAT. Once done with the exam and writing at least a part of his applications, he plans to spend the next three weeks with me in New York! YAY! This is his first time to the US (oh, and his VISA came through thanks to the realllly nice VISA interviewer he luckily had), so imagine spending maximum part of that time in NYC! Wooooo! I'm very, very excited about this. 

He then comes back and goes on a one month mountaineering course that certifies him to be a professional mountaineer ('My boyfriend? He's a professional mountaineer'- how cool does that sound!). He's back home after that and I'll be back around the same time too... for....? That brings me to the next part of my 'why-I've-been-busy' story.

2. Remember my best friend, soul sister, and ex-roomie Moo? Well, she's getting MARRIED! I was dying to blog about this in my earlier Happy Times post, but it was totally hush and I couldn't talk about it until she was sure she's going to get engaged.

Hers is a unique and beautiful whirlwind romance. It all started a little before our MegaEurotrip in June. She started half-heartedly emailing him saying she's a little tired of being set up by her parents and she's not sure if she'll ever find her The One. I, on the other hand, was convinced from his very first email that they would be on FIRE! He's a super happy person and she's a big load of sunshine and they have similar ideas about life and all that- what's not to love about each other? 

They fell in love before they even met (he's American and lives on the west coast) and they fell in love so damn quickly, they didn't even know what hit them. And of course, when they did meet, in Bangkok (yeah, one night in Bangkok!), the sparks flew, the earth stopped moving, their hearts skipped beats and all that, and by the end of the week, he proposed and she was calling me screaming, 'I'm engaaaaaaggggged'.

So on that front, the wedding is here in November and it's going to be the biggest party ever and I will scream and dance, and cry- out of happiness that my best friend in the whole world will finally be with her prince and out of sadness, because our 5 year inseparable stint would have come to an end. She's moving with him to the States and I will miss her madly.

3. My other best friend, D's romance is also going very, very well and I'm pretty sure she'll be announcing her engagement early next year too (fingers crossed). I love the way this guy makes her feel and I'm hoping it all works out :) (I've realised I have great instinct for this kind of thing- fell free to get in touch if you want Love Advice :P )

So, as you can see from all the updates above, there are two things that starkly stand out- 

a. I'm a BIG sucker for romance

b. I'm a BIG sucker for best friends

Does that tell you anything yet? Hell yeah! My book is about both of the above :)

Much more very soon!

PS: I will write about the awesome MegaEurotip- I started writing a draft, but it got a wee bit carried away and it's become a short story now! So in due time, (read as when I have a one minute breather from my crazy life to shorten it), I will blog about the Marvelous Adventures of A Moo and Geebani (more on those names later!). 

Happpy times!

I can't believe I haven't posted here in so long- wait, I can believe it...there's just been wayyy too much happening. Although, I wanna go into detail on all and make this is a lonnnng post, I have a feeling I'll lose all of you at this sentence :P So, WAAAAIT- it won't be a long post- just some updates, promise.

THE BIGGEST UPDATE-

I leave for what I think, will be the TRIP OF MY LIFE, tomorrow morning. My best friend Moo and I entered this fabulous Win a Free Trip to Europe Contest run by this really cool company called The BackPacker Co (you HAVE to check out their trips!). And YESSSSSS, we WON! We're now going on a * wait for it * FIFTEEN DAY trip to Eastern Europe, covering SEVEN countries! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I can't believe that a) people actually win things in real life (especially in light of recent events) and b) I'm one of them!

So, after battling the witch from hell, aka the VISA officer at the German consulate, and getting our VISA (phew!), we're heading to Germany (Munich), Czech (Prague), Poland (Krakow), Slovakia (Bratislava), Hungary (Budapest), Slovenia (Ljubjlana), and Austria (Vienna and Salzburg)!! I haven't had a proper holiday in one and half years and a holiday of this sort, well, never- so OMGGGGG, Moo and I are DYING with excitement! (And think of all the stories I can write in this blog after!)

Send me any tips you have for our travel- We're both Eurotrip virgins and we'd really appreciate it!

PS: Don't give us tips about packing light. I know we ought to- but we're two GIRLS, going to Europe for the first time, just the shoes make up one bag :P

All Other updates:

1. Incidentally LOL (Love of my Life) also went for the trip of HIS life. He just came back from a 15 day trek in the Himalayas. For those of you who know it, it's the Annapurna trek that takes you upto 18,000+ feet! In his own words, he 'went a boy and came back a man'. And I tend to agree :P Btw, he also had this crazy incident at the airport on his way back which I must tell you about... He met a Nigerian kid, a footballer, who had to take a flight to go to Delhi and missed it. LOL met him and instantly lent him money for a ticket :O When he told me this, I laughed until I peed a little. I mean, Nigerian- has he not heard of enough scams?! He'd never see a paisa of his money again.

The all-knowing, stereotyping, cynical me ended up being super embarrassed- because the kid actually called LOL a couple of days after and wanted to pay back the money! WTF and FTW! Serves me right for being so narrow minded. But I'm glad I was wrong- It always makes me feel warm and fuzzy knowing that there are good people in the world.

2. We have three adorrrrable dogs at my office and one of them gave birth of six adorable little puppies. They're a mix of Lab and German Shepherd, so they're even more adorable looking. Unfortunately we lost two of them- the runts of the lot- but the rest are happy and squeaky and FAT as hell. They eat ALL the time and wanna chew everything in sight. It's nothing short of adorable.

3. Work has been super depressing and stressful this last month (getting better now maybe?). But I won't get into that right now because I'm super happy and this is a happeeeeeee post :)

4. My best friend D, who recently had the crap experience of having her heart shredded by this one arse****, just met someone!This is the girl who just a week before said that there is no way in the world she will ever believe in true love again! Why this is making me so happy? Apart from the fact that my best friend is falling in real happy love, I LOVE seeing people in love (I have a theory about this, but more on that later). I love people believing in love. I'm in love with LOL and I think everyone should know how crazy, whooping, calming, screamy, content and exhilarating this gorgeous way of living is!

More more and more after my Europe travels.

Much much happpppy EXCITU,

Me

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

LOL (Love Of my Life) got a call from an unknown number a couple of days ago. He hung up within two minutes and announced to me that we had won a lucky draw. I was like WHAAAAAAAAAAA.... I mean what are the chances that I (me??) won some random lucky dip type thing. I thought Lady Luck had made it very clear that we'd broken up, never to get back. How then?

'It was at one of those local malls. Did you register?' LOL asked, breaking me out of the conversation with myself.

Did I register? DID I?  'Of course. I've been registering for everything for the last year.'

'What? Why?'

'Have you seen us? 2010 has been the poorest year EVER! I entered every contest and lucky draw I came across. Come onnnn, anything that comes free is a miracle.'

LOL smiled, 'Don't exaggerate. We're not poor. Just going through a bit of a broke phase.'

I hid back a smile although I knew he's right- I mean, it's not like we were under the poverty line. 'Hmpfh. I am poor. Don't know about you.' I didn't want him to take my being broke lightly. 'So what did we win?'

'I dont know.. she wasn't very clear... A mixi, grinder, one thousand rupees cash prize, and a holiday at a hotel in Ooty for two days.'

'Wooooooooooooowwwww. I've never won anything. Annnnything.' I did a little dance right there standing on my bed.

'Listen, don't you think this is a bit fishy?'

'Ey! Shut up. We won!'  And I continued dancing atop our fragile bed.

-----

Two days later, we're having lunch with my family- grandparents, parents, aunt, uncle etc. And I'm excitedly telling all them about how I've won something so super exciting. A holiday to Ooty! (as if we never ever could afford a holiday on our own, and this is a supermely unique experience we've never seen or heard of). 

'In Ooty. Can you imagineeee?' I coo; my eyes all big and dreamy.

'You've been there before no?' my favourite aunt says. Hmmm. Maybe I should re-consider that 'favourite' title.

'Ya, so? We won a random competition. It never happens to our family. NEVER. Cant you people be enthusiastic?'

My relatives oblige. They give me exxagerated smiles and say 'oooohhhh' and 'cooooooool'. 

'What, you want us to announce it to a news channel?' my uncle asks, smiling.

I roll my eyes dramatically and spend the rest of lunch telling them they're such dull people for not appreciating the fact that there's now a lucky draw grand prize winner in the family.

'It's a scam my dear daughter' my father says, looking all sage-like. 

'How do they know our names then? Because I entered the contest and won.' I say firmly. 

Honestly, I can't remember exactly what contest I entered or IF I ever entered a contest in that mall. But I most likely did- after all, they knew our names and numbers didn't they?.

'Ha.Let's see who's laughing when I show you the pictures from my free holiday.' I tell my father, nose high up in the air.

-----

Right after lunch we head to the mall's corporate office to claim our gifts. I am getting the sense that LOL doesn't really want to go. He's doing this to humour me. 

That's fine. He's going to eat his smirk once we're on our way to Ooty. Why is a little bit of positivity too much to ask for these days?

We see the board for Casa Retreats as we climb the two stairs up. See? It's not a scam- they're a real company.

There is a receptionist who nods at us. Another woman welcomes and congratulates us. She tells us we'll get our prizes in 15 minutes-- right after 'the small tea party'. 

A tiny alarm goes off in my head. LOL shakes his head. He wants to head home. I can't give him the satisfaction.

'Dont be rude' I whisper to him. 'Lets just go see no?'. LOL, being LOL, adorable and always humouring me, trails in behind me.

We are made to sit with a guy who takes random/ vague details from us. LOL is getting impatient and snaps at the man, 'Get to the point', he says. I give him a look that says 'I'll handle it'.

I spend the next 10 minutes answering the stupidest questions about where we honeymooned (we havent! They're assuming me we're married), what kind of holidays we take, what kind of house we have and what kind of friggin' toothpaste we use. And every two minutes, there is a lady anoouncing 'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr and Mrs. XYZ to the Casa family! Clap clap clap.

I'm getting annoyed now and I'm almost not listening. The 'representative' can say see this and finally brings us to the climax.

We have to buy a membership to their company- they sell holidays. They provide hotel accommodation all over India and 3000+ destinations abroad. Breakfast is free. Travel and other meals are subsidised. All for only 500 rupees a year.

For a fraction of a second, the travel junkie (combined with the broke person) in me wakes up. Then.... enlightenment- an entire Hustle type long con scene plays in my head- hiring fake reps, making a fake company website, people fixing the fake company board on the building...

By this time LOL has Facebooked about the entire event and is nudging me to show me something on his phone.

I inwardly cringe when see the website- www.consumercomplaints.in. I look at the rep and tell him firmly that we're not interested. He says 'Okay madam but we'll still give you your gifts.'

That makes me feel a bit better. At least the gifts were real. We pick up the gifts and hurry out of there.

Turns out the coupons for Ooty are either fake or to some ghastly hotel with peeling paint on walls (review online). There is no mixi or grinder or any 1000 rupees cash prize. There are two more coupons- one for a picnic day locally and another for a two day hotel voucher for Bangkok- I don't even want to imagine what those could be.

On the way back home I'm avoiding eager calls from my friends and relatives who are calling to ask about when we're leaving to Ooty.

LOL christens me Guillable Geetu and points at every sale/lucky draw contest on the road and laughs uncontrollably. 

' So, now do we agree that we got conned?' he asks.

'No. We didn't pay them any money and we spent only 15 minutes there. And in return we got six kind-of pretty glass bowls.' 

It's true. We did.