Wednesday, April 22, 2009

TWT (time wasting tactics) LESSON: How to not work at work and look hard at work.

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Lazy person (1)
Lazy day (2)
Laptops (1)
Computer screens (2)- one of relatively smaller size than the other
Bottle of water (1)
Nerdy pair of glasses (1)- the thicker and cloudier (making you lose sight of eyeballs), the better
Acting skills- minor to medium
Note pad (1)
Pencil (1)
High speed Internet connection (1)

Preparation:
(1) Switch on the laptop and connect the two screens
(2) Gently but purposefully don the nerdy glasses
(3) Angle the bigger screen towards junta who passes by your desk at work
(4) Put something very important that you’re working on, on that screen. You could use the pencil to scribble furiously into your note pad
(5) Use the Internet to browse tamil matrimony.com
(6) Garnish by donning a serious look on face to show how dedicated you are. You could add flavour by sipping on the bottle of water WITHOUT looking away from your computer screen- i.n.t.e.n.s.e. concentration.
Alternative methods:
a) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5 try Social networking: facebook, myspace, orkut.com. twitter away.
b) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5- dirty talk: with anyone on the Internet. Put one a new avatar- Pretend to be an old man from Hungary- perverted as hell, interested in learning and developing his sexual skills at age 83.
c) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5- Instant Messenger: Whether it’s an internal IM or an external IM (Yahoo/MSN/Gtalk etc are common suppliers), ping somebody and ask them about their weekend and insist on them telling you every detail of the 48 hours they were away, even if they’re in a meeting.
d) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5- Smoke break. Take a walk for a smoke break. Come back when it’s time for you to leave, pick up your bags and say bye sweetly.
e) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5 Reality Shows- use the Power of The Internet to catch up pn the latest episode of American Idol, The Beauty and The Geek, MTV Roadies or even Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bhainse thi.
f)Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5- Youtube: Switch on your webcam. Silently, make faces at the camera, show it the finger etc. Upload on Youtube. While you're at it, look at random videos- Susan Boyle, Charlie the unicorn, how can she slaaaaaaaaaaap saaar? etc.
g) Repeat Steps 1-4
For Step 5- Update your blog: Like I am right now.

2 comments:

Fenix said...

:D

Also you forget. the tying cause of IM will seem to someone like serious pounding of a report due...

anu said...

this is inspiring, but my office has blocked facebook and youtube. wat do you say about that :(